Monday, September 19, 2011

Signs of True Love

Someone, I hold dear, has asked me a while back to write about true love; on the signs one could look for to know if it is true love.
At the time, my thoughts were different and my intake on life and true love only showed me that life is a series of actions and reactions, causes and effects. The two basic and innate choices we have, are either an emotional response, or a logical one, though seldom both.
For logic cannot understand the outbursts of emotions, but can rationalize them into theories based on facts. Emotions on the other hand, are rampant, erratic and illogical, and thus defy any reason. 
From a logical point of view, though some things are unexplainable, there is always a speculation, a theory, as to what has caused it. 
From an emotional view, there is no reasoning. Effect and reaction dictate the course of action taken, based not on facts, but on how our emotions react to those facts.
So where does love stand in all this logic, I found myself asking? 

After all analysis, reasoning, feeling, experimentation, writing and poetry, I have come to realize that love cannot be defined because I say: "love is a game playing on our emotions. Some play a role and some react."

Most of us have a mask on, and when it comes to playing love the mask changes to fit the role.
Many of us await to fall prey to Hollywood's illusion; the depiction of Cinderella living happily ever after, or playing prince charming and the knight in shining armor.
The heart falls, and we cannot control it, but the unconsciousness knows what is inside; be it the shining knight awaiting to rise or Cinderella awaiting to be swept off her feet. 
And whatever it is on the inside, it will eventually manifest itself on the outside. 

Yet, people feel when the change is coming. And when the fairytale ends, I found there are two kinds of people reacting.
Like an active warrior, some argue and fight in the hope that it is all worth it.
Some, on the other hand, like the warrior who has laid down his weapons and armor, wait and watch playing along, until the castle crumbles down.

But what if, just what if as my friend tends to believe, there is such a thing called true love, how then, with all the logic and games, can one recognize it? How does one know, it is true love?
I am no expert on relationships, nor love, and yet I found it simple enough to eliminate the elements that lead to confusion and focus on what could be the elements of true love.
Thus, I will not speak of things that are beyond actual life, as things we see in movies but I will attempt to list what I think could be the signs to recognizing true love.

Here is how you know it is true love.

1.  When you miss her, you're not just missing her sex.

2.  You think of things to share with her.
3.  Her voice soothes you and makes you smile.

4.  You feel joy when you are with her.

5.  You think of her occasionally during the day.

6.  No matter the bad days and hardships you cannot let her go.

7.  You feel purposeless without her when you fight or break up.

8.  You know her well, the real person she is, and when she is genuine and when she is not.

9.  Her loving words move something inside you.

10. You are yourself with her and you don't need to act or pretend.

11. She encourages and supports you and is there, caring when you are down.

12. She makes an effort when you don't.

13. She bleeds (figuratively) and hurts but chooses to stay with you.

14. She needs you as much as you need her to bring to life balance.

15. She is attentive to what you say.

16. She notices the little things that may seem meaningless to others.

17. She has the patience to go through the bad times with you.

18. Her promises are kept.

19. She never plays games with you but knows what she wants and is honest about it.

20. She knows your weaknesses as well as your strengths but does not take advantage of either.

21. She understands your needs and space.

22. She always has time for you.

23. She makes you laugh.

24. There is always communication between the two of you.

25. Moments of silence are understood without words.

26. She embraces all sides of you, the qualities as well as the many faults.

27. She gets upset with you once in a while because she cares.

And last but not least, it feels as though there is some cosmic connection that pulls you towards one another... an unexplainable phenomenon that keeps both your lives entangled together, like two separate threads being woven together to form one that is stronger and more colorful. 
And when you fight with one another, it feels as though you are no longer in harmony with the universe; like cosmic energies being transferred from one entity to the other, you feel one another as though there is a transmission of thought and feeling through the cosmos, from her heart and soul to yours.

I believe, that just like all feelings, even true love can be one sided. some people are capable of loving you and it is on their end true love, though you may not love them the same, and vice versa, but if it is mutual, then it is indeed true love for both.
The above is a mere speculation, my views and interpretations, and should not be taken literally, except with your own consent and at your own risk. I am hoping however, that the list may be helpful to you.

What do you think or believe true love signs are? Or is there anything that you would like to add to the list? 

Have a moment to spare? Take the one question poll on betrayal and revenge click here.


  1. I'm in love and i miss my bf even when he is in a different room.. simply out of my sight... I love his energy and just the fact being close to him makes my energy and emotions go crazy...

  2. Thank you Sami for sharing this information with us. I wish you the best with your bf.

  3. Not much to add to that Gypsy, I truly believe that there is a cosmic connection when it is true love. It is rare but oh so sweet and beautiful when it happens.


  4. Fenced-in, thank you for your comment. It appears to me that you may have some sort of experience or insight upon the matter:)))) "Live long and prosper!"

  5. Yes, but I think most and probably all relationships will have some but not all of those signs at any given time.

    You don't often find love on it's own though, but alongside lots of other needs, desires, emotions, they can get a lot of people confused.

    Theres one other "test" fit true love I heard of, this comes from St. John of the Cross:
    If it's true love, then when you think of the person your love for God increases. I think also your love of other people increases too.

  6. Yes indeed, St John was right oliver... You cannot love without becoming more open and loving to the world... Thank you so very much for adding that

  7. Here is something I found related to relationships and how to make yours last, should anyone be interested to read more.

  8. nice article nadine ,i read it twice .sure its difficult to define love ,but its harder and more difficult to define true love ,u add 27 signs and u are asking for more ,,,,,,,true love exist some time in less signs and some time in more ,its rare ,but exist .

  9. sono d'accordo con Nadina...e penso che per riuscire ad amare veramente una persona bisogna partire prima di tutto con un bel lavoro su di noi...sviluppare consapevolezza ed amore per se stessi...và preparato il terreno ... Gurdjeff diceva che bisogna iniziare dalle penso di non avere così tanto tempo

  10. I don't know what true love is or if it truly exists but I do know that love is very powerful and lucky those who are loved and can love in return.... it takes two to tango!! when one loves with the heart instead of the head, that's when we become vulnerable because we let our emotions take over..

  11. Thank you all for your replies.

    Manrico, I wish you the best in finding true love as you prepare the road for it....
    Vi auguro il meglio trovare l'amore vero, come si prepara la strada per esso.

  12. Aida, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
    True love may seem impossible to find to some, for it may seem non-existent. I hope you find true love, as long as you keep your heart open, rather than your mind. For love is an emotion not a reasoning.
    Thank you

  13. True love is hard, if it does exist. I believe that the people that have found it should cherish it forever with that one person.

  14. I agree with you Jenny, it should be so, though sadly I believe that as much as human beings ache for such a love, many will also let it go unknowingly.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and I also wish you the best in finding true love.


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